May 11, 2015 § 1 Comment
or, I’m in Synopsis-Writing Hell. Liquor isn’t helping.
May 11, 2015
Not to say that I didn’t try, though.
I finished my latest round of manuscript cuts a few days ahead of schedule. The next step was to rewrite my synopsis. This is how I made the best use of my time advantage:
1. Took a few days off from even looking at the damn thing. Fiddled with the NaNoWriMo draft instead. Went to see Avengers: Age of Ultron. Told myself I’ll start the synopsis on Sunday.
2. On Sunday morning thought to myself, “Gah. It’s Sunday already? I so do not want to work on the synopsis. Besides, Not That Kind of Girl is due at the library tomorrow. Spend the day reading that instead. I’ll start the synopsis on Monday.”
3. Monday I remembered I am also supposed to be planning my new website. Why start off a Monday doing something hard like a synopsis? I spent the morning looking at authors’ websites for ideas instead.
4. Tuesday I exported my manuscript outline from Scrivener to a .csv file and then to Excel so I can use it to rework the synopsis. Great start. Then I left early to take the car in for the oil change in case the carpool to the Claudia Rankine event in Santa Fe fell through. (It didn’t.)
5. Just wasn’t feeling the synopsis writing on Wednesday. I spent my morning hour looking at other author sites again.
6. I slept in on Thursday on account of getting to bed so late the night before after going to the Claudia Rankine event. No time to work on the synopsis even if I wanted to. I didn’t.
7. Friday. It hit me that a whole week had gone by. Panic fluttered in my stomach. I wrote down in my planner “I don’t even want to look at my f***ing synopsis.”
But I did it anyway. It was not quite as horrific as I thought it was going to be. It needs all kinds of work, though.
All kinds of work.
I’d rather watch the birds.
May 4, 2015 § 1 Comment
May 4, 1015
I put a library hold on Not That Kind of Girl by Lena Dunham because the book is on all kinds of “must read” lists and also because my actress/filmmaker friend Dia told me all about Dunham just before she became so well-known for her HBO series Girls. When a copy finally became available three months after I put it on hold, though, I sat down in the library to read the first few pages before I committed to checking it out. After all, I’m trying to get a submission ready. I have a crap ton of books on my to-read shelf. If I actually checked out this particular book, I would have to finish it in the next two weeks because forget trying to renew it. (There are currently 16 holds on 14 copies.)
I was sold at “But I want to tell my stories, and, more than that, I have to in order to stay sane.”
What made me get up out of the library chair and immediately go check the book out, though, was Dunham’s hope that her stories will, among other things, stop the reader from “thinking that it was your fault when the person you are dating suddenly backs away, intimidated by the clarity of your personal mission here on earth.”
Because I remembered all the dates that stopped happening and the relationships that ended shortly after the guy realized just how serious I am about this writing thing. And now I realized that it was okay.
It really is okay.
April 26, 2015 § 2 Comments
Maybe Get the Ethnic Group Right Before You Claim You Are Satirizing Ethnic Stereotypes
April 27, 2015
First of all, the jokes were just gross and racist as hell. Kudos to the Native American actors who walked off the Ridiculous 6 set. I’m totally with them on that one.
And, okay, I’m a little “how dare you?” that The Ridiculous 6 is supposed to be a satire of the classic Western The Magnificent Seven. One of my favorite Westerns ever. One that I watched because my mother watched it because my dad watched it when he and my mother were together. The movie that has in its lineup, among others, Yul Brynner, Eli Wallach, and—to reference Sex and the City—the old movie star I’d have liked to fuck when he was young, Steve McQueen. The movie containing lines that I still quote at my mom and then crack up, such as “Please don’t understand me so fast” and “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
No spoofing of this film allowed!
Seriously, though, the other thing that is not working for me is the claim that The Ridiculous 6 is supposedly “satirizing” The Magnificent Seven and the “stereotypes” Western films popularized. If you’re claiming to be doing a satire on ethnic stereotypes, though, maybe you should actually pay attention to what ethnic group is portrayed in the movie you are supposedly spoofing. Enough attention to know that The Magnificent Seven isn’t about Native Americans. It’s about hired guns protecting a farming village in Mexico.
Mexicans, not Native Americans.
Wrong ethnic group, dudes.
April 7, 2015 § 2 Comments
March 30, 2015 § Leave a comment
March 30, 2015
I was definitely trying to contain my giggling and snorting while reading this book at the pedicure salon. Moran’s essays on such subjects as the trap women have fallen into of spending time and money on waxing and wearing inadequate underwear are painfully hilarious:
“A man may think, I have a party next week. I’d better roughly scrub my face before I tootle on out the door.
A woman, on the other hand, will call up the calendar in her head—like the midair screens in Minority Report—and start a cycle of furious planning, based around hair management.”
Um, guilty. Only I get out my scary day planner.
“A case in point: a few months ago, I was on a crowded tube with a friend of mine, who gradually grew paler and quieter until she finally leaned forward and admitted that her knickers were so skimpy, her front bottom had eaten them entirely. . . . Clearly, this is not right. Jesus Christ. Underpants like this need to be bombed back to the Stone Age. Batman doesn’t have to put up with this shit—why should we?”
Thank you. If a pair of panties doesn’t provide ass coverage, I ain’t buying it.
And here is my favorite bit on the ludicrousness of proclaiming to not be a feminist:
“What do you think feminism IS, ladies? What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it the freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? ‘Vogue’ by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES?”
Couldn’t have said it better myself.